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Managing Grief During the Holidays

by Laura Nalin, MA, P-LPC, CADC

The ebb and flow of grief can feel all consuming no matter how long it has been without a loved one. Unfortunately, we cannot press pause during the holidays, and the emotions that arise can feel complicated and confusing for those grieving. Celebrating and feeling a sense of joy during the holiday season without a loved one, or loved ones, can feel selfish; others may feel a sense of guilt following for being able to participate with ease. For some, the pain of the loss of a loved one during these times can feel incapacitating and lead them to want to isolate. Others may feel a sense of sadness, but ultimately have joy in knowing their loved ones are no longer in pain. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it impacts everyone differently.

As we are always ever-evolving as humans, our emotions and experiences with grief are as well. The holiday season can be triggering for some, as family systems displayed on television may remind them of what they no longer have, songs may evoke memories of their loved one(s), or the stark reminder that a certain meal they love will never be cooked the same can send some into an emotional tailspin. I know for me, the first holidays without loved ones who have passed were challenging, some more than others.

If you’re trying to navigate your emotions during the holiday season, know that it is okay to move through them however you feel best. Here are some tips for managing grief during the holidays:

Set boundaries with yourself and others

Some events or gatherings may be more activating than others. Take a mental note of your needs and wants and continue to check in with yourself about what you can and cannot handle. It’s okay to have limitations, and you may not be ready to fully engage - that’s okay! Do what feels right for you.

Prepare yourself mentally