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Letting Go of Perfectionism

by Izzy Brown, MA, R-DMT, LPC


Perfectionism, the relentless pursuit of flawlessness and setting unrealistically high standards, can be a double-edged sword. While it can drive us to excel, it often comes at a cost to our mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. In this blog, we’ll explore the detrimental effects of perfectionism and provide practical strategies to reduce its grip on your life, ultimately allowing you to embrace authenticity and self-compassion.

Understanding Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a mindset characterized by the following traits: setting impossibly high standards, fear of failure, and negative self-criticism. Perfectionists tend to set goals and expectations that are nearly impossible to meet, setting themselves up for constant disappointment. Fear of failure is a deep-seated fear that often paralyzes perfectionists, preventing them from taking risks and trying to do things. Perfectionists are also their own harshest critics, constantly finding fault in their efforts and berating themselves for perceived shortcomings.


Harmful Effects of Perfectionism

Perfectionism can lead to a host of negative consequences which can include chronic stress and anxiety, procrastination, strained relationships and lowered self-esteem. The relentless pursuit of perfection creates chronic stress and anxiety as perfectionists are always worried about falling short of their high standards. The fear of not meeting their own expectations can lead to procrastination, as perfectionists delay tasks to avoid potential failure. Perfectionism can strain relationships, as the focus on perfection often extends to others, leading to unrealistic expectations and disappointment. Perfectionists are also rarely satisfied with their achievements, leading to lowered self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy through comparison.


Reducing Perfectionism

Here are some practical strategies to reduce perfectionism and promote a healthier, more authentic way of living:

  1. Set realistic goals: Replace impossibly high standards with achievable, realistic goals. Celebrate your progress and effort, even if it falls short of your initial ideal.

  2. Challenge self-critical thoughts: Pay attention to your self-criticism and challenge it. Are your fears of failure based on facts or assumptions? Replace self-criticism with self-compassion.

  3. Embrace mistakes: Understand that making mistakes is part of being human. View them as opportunities for growth and learning rather than as failures.

  4. Prioritize self-care: Take care of your mental and physical well-being. Engage in relaxation techniques, exercise and hobbies that bring you joy.

  5. Mindfulness and meditation: Practice mindfulness to stay in the present moment and accept things as they are. Meditation can help you become more aware of your thought patterns and break the cycle of perfectionism.

  6. Seek support: Share your struggles with a trusted friend, family member or therapist. Talking about your perfectionism can help alleviate its grip on your life.

  7. Let go of Comparison: Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own unique path and struggles!

Perfectionism may be a tough habit to break, but it’s essential for your mental and emotional well-being. By setting realistic goals, challenging self-critical thoughts, and prioritizing self-compassion, you can reduce perfectionism’s hold on your life. Embracing your authentic self, imperfections and all, leads to a happier and more fulfilling life. Remember that it’s perfectly okay not to be perfect; it’s the journey towards self-acceptance that truly matters.


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